Imitate

模仿

吳星瑩

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我越尋找著完美,越找到越多的不完美。

~《內在森林》向日葵植物誌~

我一直拚命勇敢地,學習所有我之外。
卻原來最勇敢的是,停止所有不是我。

~《蒔:心靈時曆‧時映》

獨立:芒種三候|反舌鳥停止了模仿的鳴叫

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我想成為你,因為我以為,那是更好的我。

你讓我看見了更多的可能,我以為只要站在跟你相同的位置,就能眺望更遠更遼闊的風景。

雖然曾經回返不了我,也仍然到不了你。

但我也因此,終於轉頭眺望自己。

看見我之所以被你吸引的濫觴,也看見那背後,我始終不敢去拓荒的,屬於我的方向。

你引領我踏出了自己,引領我訂正了自己;放任我亦步亦趨著你,放任我粗製濫造著你。我倒背如流粉墨登場,直到發現,那只是一次次彩排。

直到我足夠勇敢,演出自己。

我終於明白,那並不是揚棄你,而是對你最尊敬的復刻。當我終於向你學到了,忠於自己。

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I long to be you, as a better performance of me.

You bring to me more ways of possibility. I expect to meet the similar altitude of you in order to put myself in higher and farther scenery.

But I'm stuck in the grey area between you and me. I can't be you anyway, yet I can't be me anymore.

It's not a waste though. I find a wasteland uninhabited deep inside me.

I trudge to the source of heart stream that is long gone out of water. I explore the wilderness across and beyond the world and me.

And I always live in your kind connivance. You make me better and correct myself by any manner of means of copying or mimicking you to my content until I am tired of the rehearsal.

Until I put all efforts to step on my own stage.

I don't try to steal the show of you anymore. The best way to imitate and pay tribute to you is to live the best version of myself, as you always show me.

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10 days after Grain in Ear: Integrating

KEYWORD
by Singing Wu

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