Unify

完整

吳星瑩

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我是茶,也是茶杯,充滿自己,承接自己。

~《內在森林》小葉欖仁植物誌~

我坦然需要,然後,坦然給予自己。
不需要完美,我需要完整。

~《蒔:心靈時曆‧時映》

獨立:芒種二候|伯勞鳥像孩子理直氣壯

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我把所有不敢承認的,都壓抑下來。

壓抑看似有效,卻如影隨形著反彈。我只能也壓抑著反彈。

直到我發現自己越來越無力,越來越無法動彈。

因為,我把所有的力量,都用來和自己對抗了。

直到我越來越找不到自己,因為,我把那些自己都當作敵人了,我拚命驅逐著自己。

我不允許自己擁有的,我都期待你來滿足,我都渴望你能補償。你卻從無法帶回給我,長久被我遺棄的自己。

我所缺憾的,從來都只有我能療癒。始終只有我能當自己的醫生,只要我不再用手術刀傷害自己,也不再用繃帶束縛自己。

當我懂得如何犀利,我才終於懂得如何溫柔。

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I've been suppressing emotions I don't want to feel.

The suppression always works, with the rebound though. I can only try to bottle all up inside me.

Hardly am I able to stir anymore, with the bottle stuffed full.

Almost all my strength have been spent on resisting myself.

Hardly am I able to feel myself anymore, for I look on myself as enemies to deport.

I feel both choked and hollow inside. But you can never save me from depression due to my own suppression.

You can never heal my wounds, only if I don't cut myself with the scalpel, yet not chain myself with the bandage anymore. I learn to be my own doctor properly.

Using both the sharp and the gentle side appropriately, I unify myself.

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5 days after Grain in Ear: Integrating

KEYWORD
by Singing Wu

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小滿三候|彌補


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