Realize
接受
吳星瑩
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「憔悴的時候，允許自己專心憔悴，
不要催促，不要批判。允許自己長長地放空。」～《內在森林》寒櫻植物誌～
「如果我坦然接受所有在寒冷時，避寒的自己。那麼我也將不再害怕地推卻所有溫暖，不再害怕自己付出的溫暖，被輕易推卻。」～《蒔：心靈時曆‧時映》
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我心中最常出現，卻最少察覺的感覺，其實是羞恥。
時時拿著一把名為正常的尺，不斷測量自己，不時比對自己，害怕自己跟不上，害怕自己太超過，亦步亦趨著世界。
乖孩子不想讓所愛的人失望，所以，不停對自己失望。
乖孩子從來不知道，自己無論如何任性，也不會變成壞孩子。
從來不知道，其實所謂正常，不是努力學會何時可以笑，何時可以哭；而是好好對待自己的感受，不要在該憤怒的時候，原諒別人，又在該悲哀的時候，冷漠自己。
好好接受所有的自己，原來不管如何反應，原來不知道如何反應，其實，都很正常。
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I am used to feeling ashamed without even aware of it.
I measure myself by the normal standard, with an invisible ruler in my heart. Afraid of being shorter or longer than the regular scale, no longer can I lead or follow the world.
I always feel it a shame if I'm not good enough until I'm too good already.
Too good to be blamed as bad by all means. I am already way far in the opposite side of the spectrum. That's why I can't remain normal anyway.
I've tried all the way hard to recognize when to laugh and when to cry, only to find that I don't realize how to laugh and how to cry anymore.
Just realize myself. Release all my feelings. Because it's normal. Because it's real.
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5 days after Rain Water: Nourishing
KEYWORD
by Singing Wu
by Singing Wu
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