Recognize

承認

吳星瑩

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沒有人看見我的悲傷。因為真正的悲傷,是如此孤獨的事。
即使剛好有人走過,也只能走過。

~《內在森林》油桐植物誌~

我們四處躲避,卻終究發現,我們並沒有因此被找到。
我們開始到處尋找,有沒有人,正在尋找著我們?

~《蒔:心靈時曆‧時映》

徜徉:清明一候桐花在隱蔽處落了一地雪白

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我不知道為何,無論你如何陪伴,我還是感覺孤單。

你總是沒有找到,還有好多好多我。

我也不知道為何,其實很想被找到的我,卻一直躲起來。

於是我一直遇見,根本沒發現我躲起來的你,覺得無聊而懶得來找我的你,找不到還把原本的我弄丟的你。我們玩著鬼抓人,在愛裡不停鬼打牆。

換我一直在愛裡尋找,對的你。

卻原來,是我一直假裝找不到,那些被我拋棄,最不敢讓你看到的我;那些怕被拋棄,乾脆先拋棄你的我。

除非我終於坦然掛失,終於陪伴自己,欣然認領,那個被我長久躲著,最孤單的我。

我才能終於,被愛找到。

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I just don't find out why: the more for company, the more I feel lonely.

There's always too many shadows sneaking away from me you never find out.

I also don't find out why: the more I hope to be seen, the more I keep hiding from the sight of you.

Thus I've stepped on the shadow of you sitting loose to my absence; on the shadow of you scoffing at my going in circles and leave me hitting the wall; on the shadow of you keeping messing me up and missing me out. We build the mind maze together and apart. Hide and seek.

Yet I am it. I go out of my way to look for you.

I keep pretending to look for someone but me. Thus I don't need to tag me; to touch the underside of me I keep covering; to tie the autotomy of me after I cut ties with you.

The only way out is to claim lost, and claim found. Thus I can finally piece me up, finding myself no longer lonely.

Thus I can be recognized by love.

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Pure Brightness: Wandering

KEYWORD
by Singing Wu

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