Possession

擁有

吳星瑩

「你們用盡一切努力，勉強我；我也用盡一切努力，勉強我，得到你們想要的快樂，卻再也不快樂。」
～《內在森林》牽牛植物誌～

「也許，我該努力尋回的，不是曾經的夢想建築。是尋回那位，無中生有，平地起高樓，快樂建築師。」
～《蒔：心靈時曆‧時映》
清晰：小寒二候｜勤奮喜鵲築起牢固的巢～

我以為我是因為擁有了什麼，才快樂。

但其實我是因為擁有，所以才不快樂。因為害怕失去。

會失去的，都不真正屬於我。

並不是誰的肯定，不是誰的失望，不是不停滿足著新的標準，讓我成為我。

也不是我的才華，不是我的成果，不是努力得到的所有證明，讓我是我。

源源不絕，超越一切之上，潛伏一切之下，我明瞭，即使失去了所有，我仍能創造更多。

我創造的，都只是我居住的屋宇。

我真正擁有的，是那份明瞭。

I think I am happy because I possess something.

But I am unhappy because I possess something, for I fear losing it.

But what will be lost doesn't really belong to me.

I become me, not given by recognition from someone, not pushed by disappointment from someone, and not by keeping meeting new standards of the world.

I am me, not for the talents of me, not for the achievements of me, and not for any approvement I earnestly earn to prove me.

Forever flowing, above all, beneath all, I realize I can create more, even losing all.

What I create is only where I reside in.

What I really possess is this realization.